Tell me it ain't true!

"Sahil, you're such a nice guy!"

She delivered those words with all the vehemence of a well directed expletive. It's an art- to take a sunshine-sweet word like nice and turn it into a cuss word. And she's an artist.

The conversation started, like so many conversations between single friends of opposite genders do, with the fragile nature of relationships, touched upon sex, or the lack of it, off late, in our respective lives and ended, for her at least, on that slap-in-the-face note. She'd shot it out of her system the way I'd have shot out a frustrated Fuck! or a despondent Behenchod! and that was, as far as she was concerned, that.

And I was left alone with my thoughts, to ponder over what she had just said. Or rather, over what I thought I had just heard.

I think her outburst stemmed from what I said in response to her observation that I needed to get laid. I don't think she meant 'with her' because that would be quite unlike her. I think she meant it like she'd have meant 'You need a glass of water', not necessarily implying that I should drink from her glass, just that I should call for my own. And I said that perhaps this was true but I couldn't jump into bed with the first attractive and willing woman I found.

Sex is about physicality, yes. But sex without a certain emotional and intellectual connection is, for me, about as exciting, and appealing, as a cup of tepid chai. I mean, it's still chai but it's not CHAI!

She reckons sex is, at the end of the day, just sex. I reckon I know how to jack off, and that works fine when the physical release is all I need, but it's dashed impossible to make love to a hand! She reckons I'm being too nice about the whole deal, which is probably her way of saying I need to be more of a prick.

So here's the thing- Wham bam, thank you ma'am doesn't work for me. I've tried. I need sex to be everything that it can be, and has been, for me. Even one night stands need to be emotionally and intellectually more involving than glorified hand-jobs. I can't settle for less because it's not good enough.

How does that make me a nice guy? And, if it does, why is that such a bad thing?